


Move with Confidence

by SpicyWalrus



Series: A Dollar at a Time [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: First Time, M/M, Sexual Content, more and more chemistry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-05 18:01:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1827265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyWalrus/pseuds/SpicyWalrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A breaking point should be met soon. But when feelings are sketchy and boundaries are met, what happens then..?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Move with Confidence

**Author's Note:**

> explicit sexual content ahead!! probably what you've been waiting for.

Shepard finds it tedious, unvaried but rather enjoyable to visit bars and become obliterated on gin and tonic. Though under the circumstance that Kaidan's bar is now his go-to bar and attraction, Shepard finds it everything but tedious and unvaried. Well, it is unvaried, but never in a bad way. Varying dances go on, Kaidan absorbs the night life like a energy sapping extrovert, and Shepard finds himself in the trope of a public erection too many times.

It's embarrassing, the control Kaidan has over him. Embarrassing but wanted and needed and _hungered for_ , nonetheless.

Shepard looks over their relationship a little too much now. It's been a few months already, eventful and filled with tension that was separable only with cable cutters or a mighty sword. Their relationship was something found in books far far in the sections of libraries, things ancient and forgotten in some way. They kept a tainted chastity, and a breaking point was soon to be met.

That meant that `Shepard's nights were lengthened in after-hours in Kaidan's apartment, and a few suggestions were popping up in his head. Suggestions that he'd gotten un-used to, things he'd forgotten how to approach.

Shepard just didn't know how to approach the subject of wanting to take Kaidan to dinner or coffee, or, more tauntingly so, wanting to take him to bed and fuck him until he could barely move.

It was much easier to think about rather than talking about.

He's called Jack for advice (which was a mistake if he already didn't know what such a thing truly was) and she said throw it out there, and after more rather vaguely suggestive things, stated she didn't honestly care.

Until he mentioned that Kaidan was the "stripper" (God, he hated that term) that made his world tip upside-down.

Jack promptly gasped silently and heard Miranda scream something in the background.

"Miranda!" she had yelled, "I need to talk to you about something very, very important," and hung up.

Shepard sighed and hoped he wouldn't have to talk to the raven haired demon. It was only natural if she did, so who was to blame?

His phone had rung an hour later.

* * * 

"What?" Kaidan asks. Of course he asks why, because it's never that simple, never just a short, 'Let's go to dinner.'

"I," Shepard says and gestures to himself with a little, slightly worried, smile, "want to take you out, for late coffee, or... Something?" He falters, worrying the inside of his lip as Kaidan's eyes blink and his mouth hangs open idly.

Tonight, Kaidan's face was framed by rather messy hair, something different from his perfect, slicked back hair. It was still back, of course, just... Shepard couldn't describe it at all. It was messy and sexy and there was even makeup around his eyes, accentuating the honey black that reflected everything around him in the dark alley light. 

Kaidan smiles with his eyes, easily misunderstood with the black smoke around them, but Shepard knows that look. It didn't take long to know how to read the man you dream about. "Take me," Kaidan husks with a grin, holding out his hand for Shepard to take.

"Good," Shepard snapped playfully, unable to hold back his smile at such an odd and beautiful face. "You don't want to take off the..?" he says and gestures to Kaidan's eyes, his face.

"Hell no, I'll just wear it until the morning," he snides confidently, jogging a few steps when Shepard takes his hand and moves forwards.

"So," Kaidan continues, "Where you taking me?"

Shepard laughs shortly. "Nowhere you'll know."

Kaidan raises his brow and smiles, sidling besides Shepard for the short walk to Shepard's car.

* * *

So now here he was, taking his saved money to take Kaidan out to a special dinner, nothing too fancy, just at a diner late at night after work, and here they sit in a comfortable silence, a rather cheesy exchange of staring at each other deeply.

Shepard's eyes say a lot.

Kaidan's are unreadable, and there's still a leftover black smoke around them from his performance; wasn't lying about taking it off in the morning. It isn't odd to see makeup on a man, but how perfectly it fits Kaidan is a mystery completely. Like he defines fucking gender norm and makeup binaries. Which, then again, Shepard thinks, never really existed anyways.

"How close do you feel with me, Shepard?" Kaidan says, and Shepard freezes on the spot in thought.

It could be a trick question. It could _not_ be a trick question, too.

"I feel," he sighs, collecting his thoughts as he looks down at his little cup of coffee, "like we're close enough," and glances up at Kaidan's faintly smiling face.

Kaidan laughs low and huskily in his throat, a normal thrum of his voice that Shepard would love to hear cry out his name. "Good answer," he hums, stirring his tea idly with a litle smirk. "I could say the same," as he licks the corner of his lips, shooting a coy glance towards Shepard.

Oh, he could come from that look alone.

"How about..." Kaidan thinks, "How do I make you feel?" and sets the silence between them.

The silence is pregnant and long, and Kaidan keeps a flat stare behind that smoke on Shepard as the man thins his eyes in thought. It's taken a little bit as a glare, but then Shep looks down and bites his lip.

"I-I'm sorry," Kaidan stammers, "That must've come off as a little desperate," and sinks into himself a little.

Shepard knows that look and speaks up slowly, carefully.

"You make me feel like I could hide away inside of you and never come out," he states, lips parted in his silence, thinking of things to say that won't come out as he stutters lightly. "I want you. I may not need you but... If you want me to be honest, I'm just going to say that I've fallen under whatever you've put me in. It's like this terrifying, seducing spell that I just _can't_ get over.

"I want you, Kaidan," he finishes, and watches the man darken up (Kaidan doesn't "lighten up", you see, he just straightens out and looks like he's plotting more seducing and destroying), blinking his anxiety daze out of his face. 

Shepard stays silent and feels like he's said too much, and he feels like the people who aren't even in the diner are staring at him, laughing, maybe, and singled out in a little world and he feels very, very small for falling for this so early. So easily.

"You sure haven't changed, Shepard," Kaidan purrs softly, taking a sip of his cup. "I'm glad you're infatuated with me," he hums.

"But when it comes down to want and lust, temptation and nothing more than a fling, what would you say?" He asks carefully, tilting his head. "What does that make you and me if we could end in a snap..?"

Shepard begins to smile.

"Then it'd be the most wild, self-destructory and sexy thing I'd ever want to experience," and laughs lightly at himself.

Kaidan smiles, too, and they both suddenly decide to throw down a twenty dollar bill on the table and check out on the spot.

* * *

Kaidan's hands are warm against Shepard's skin, and the door just barely clears them as they stumble inside. Shepard nips at Kaidan's throat as his head tilts back and sighs out a deep sound into the air. Somehow Shepard manages to back the other into the kitchen counter and lfit him onto it to get at a better angle, licking a stripe up his neck to bite at his earlobe, tease every nibble of skin he can get to.

Kaidan pushes off the counter in a needy fit, whining against Shepard's mouth when their hips grind together as he pushes forwards and off the counter, Shepard's rough hands grabbing at his waist to still him just for a moment. Until Kaidan grips the back of Shepard's neck and pushes him aside a ways, rough and quick, prowling to him with a lick of his lips.

Their lips catch again and Shepard moans into it, nails digging up Kaidan's shirt to his ribs, his sensitive spot that immediately makes him arch up the more Shepard drags them, blunt, across his stomach. "Ah, god," Kaidan whispers in a hot breath, and the throbbing in his pants is sinful. He knows they should stop. He knows the boundaries, and so does Shepard, and yet here they are, going just a beat too fast.

Surely the music must stop soon. This sweet, sweet symphony of poison.

They just don't slow down, tasting and licking into one another's mouths, taking moments to pepper bites and ksises along expansions of neck and shoulder, and, in Kaidan's case, his ears.

Luckily enough, Kaidan is sensitive everywhere. His nerves light up at the slightest touch, he chokes out moans when their hips meet, he nearly purrs at the back of his throat when he kisses. 

Somehow Shepard ends up grabbing him by his leather collar and pushes him up against the wall, arms nearly bare and chilled in the cold, dark apartment. Kaidan manages to slide his hand to the hall light switch with a few fidgety moves, and Shepard growls at the brightness and slaps it back off.

They slip into the room and things slowly start to tone down.

Kaidan takes away from Shepard just a few inches. Kaidan's eyes are still closed and he breathes in a little gasp when Shepard's hands slide down his sides and herd him nearly to the edge of the bed, Kaidan's eyes lighting up with curiosity. 

Until Shepard smiles and lets out a little laugh. "Wow," he quips, 

"Wow," Kaidan replies and falls back against the bed once Shepard lets him go, arms at his sides in a rather dominant stance, Kaidan stretching out in front of Shepard like he's some submitting prey.

Shepard glances away and puts on a little satisfied smile, falling besides Kaidan and putting an arm behind his own head to stare up at the ceiling.

There's a long silence shared comfortably, a certain tension rises in the air as they lay beside each other. It isn't the first time they've shared a bed, but the type of sharing in mind hasn't been ever thought of, ever brought to reality until now.

There are no words, but all is said.

Kaidan rolls over slowly and, on his back, turns his head to connect his dark gaze with a darkened blue stare, blinking and questioning.

Then, like a wolf that waits for his kill, Kaidan sits up so very slowly and leans over into Shepard's space, planting a hand next to his head, supporting himself as he slings a leg over Shepard's hips just to grind down against him.

He leans down and catches Shepard's lips, and Shepard understands.

Beneath this dark barrier lies a great beast.

And this beast needs to be satisfied already.

* * *

Shepard ends up gripping Kaidan's hips tight, his entire body tense, everything but relaxed. Honestly he's afraid of breaking Kaidan, and when Kaidan's underneath him with a worried look that changes in a second to something a little quizzical and ephiphany-like, Shepard lets off with his grinding hips and soft moans and lets Kaidan flip their positions in the silent room. 

He prowls up Shepard until Shepard sits up, leaning just slight against the headboard of Kaidan's bed. Shepard stares him in the eye and sees an animal; no demon, no monster, nothing overpowered with a want and a lust like no other. He sees the man that seemingly took him under the waves of a black breeze and kept his head under with his will.

Shepard sees some sort of... Some sort of _match_.

And Kaidan kisses him and his world understands, Kaidan grinds down on his hips and he hums in a stammering little noise, and Kaidan is confident in the way he leans forwards and places a little kiss on Shepard's cheek. He smiles and rocks his hips gently, taking Shepard's hands together and placing kisses on the backs of them, letting one splay on his chest, spread out to feel his heartbeat as the other has it's fingers kissed and nipped at. Kaidan keeps his eyes fluttered closed for a moment, tongue darting out to taste Shepard's fingertip until he lets the digit in his mouth with a little hum, eyes opening once more behind their dark smoke.

The finger comes out with a little wet pop. "Do you bottom?" Kaidan hums.

"Um," Shepard stammers. "Honestly, I usually do," he hums and shudders when Kaidan licks his palm and pushes it against the tent in his briefs.

"Alright then," Kaidan smiles mischievously, "I could teach you a thing or two."

It's the last words really said that aren't little pleas or moans, because once Kaidan had started to palm Shepard's groin in languid strokes, everything went gradually downhill. Shepard falls into a writhing mess, legs shifty and unable to stay still, gripping Kaidan's hips tight as he rolls his hips down against Shepard's. A moan is given to the night that sets Kaidan off, the low tone of it sends a spark down Kaidan's spine and straight to his cock, and something inside of him tells him it's time to be real. To let go of his boundaries and slip off the mask, become vulnerable and closer than close.

So he shifts to pull down Shepard's briefs, all the way to his ankles where Kaidan tugs them the rest of the way and tosses them to the side, bending down to lick a single stripe up Shepard's length. Shepard twitches and chokes out a moan, thumping his head back against the headboard in exasperation. "Kaidan," he hushes in a slightly broken tone.

"You really are a bottom," Kaidan teases at Shepard's antics, his inability to sit still. It'll be fun, he tells himself.

"Talk is cheap, babe," Shepard moans out, threading his fingers through the other's mussed up, pulled back hair, pulling him up to plant a wet, open-mouthes kiss to his lips.

Caught off guard when Shepard bites his lip, Kaidan feels himself shudder and slowly fall back into the maskless mood. His hands shake a little bit, and he decides to say, "I wanna take off my mask with you," as he peels his underwear to his ankles, knees straddled tight against Shepard's thighs. "You have no idea how crazy you make me."

"I wouldn't have guessed," Shepard says in a sigh, honest in his state.

Kaidan just laughs and keeps to himself about what he'd say if they were in a different circumstance, _You're just so easy, hon,_ , and instead leans over to grab a bottle of lube out of his drawer with a little bit of rummaging. "You at least know how to finger yourself, right?" Kaidan asks quietly, pressing idle kisses to Shepard's neck.

Shepard flushes and nods. 

"Then finger me," Kaidan nearly commands, tone soft and oddly intimidating as always.

* * *

With quarter of a bottle of lube later and three fingers, there's a beautiful, unraveled, Shaking mess in Shepard's lap, Kaidan twitching and trembling with every slip of Shepard's fingers. "Fuck," Kaidan whines, arching up when Shepard presses against his prostate for the um-teenth time in one session, always coming back to it with gentle little nudges. 

Part of Kaidan wanted to become an uncoiled, strung-out sex fiend, and the other part of him wanted to save every part of this with Shepard, just out of the fear it'd never happen again. So he tells Shepard to take his fingers out, hissing into Shepard's mouth at the loss until he feels a blunt tip at his entrance. 

"God, please," he begs, gripping Shepard's shoulders with his tremoring hands, a natural nervousness set at the pit of his stomach. But when Shepard rubs little circles into Kaidan's hips and slowly sets him down to his lap, Kaidan is a mess of an arched back and hooded eyes, licking his lips and biting them at the sensation.

A rhythm is set to Kaidan's hips and he's rolling them gently, fucking himself down into Shepard's lap with a little gasp to accent each slow motion. "Christ, you're beautiful," Shepard hums with a rumble deep in his chest, stroking a hand down Kaidan's flushed cheek, fingers ghosting across his skin. Kaidan catches Shepard's hand with his, pulling his thumb that ghosts across his lip into his mouth, licking the tip and sucking gently as he moves to the beat of their pulses, the heart he feels in Shepard's wrist. The real person, the man, a real _lover_ that he wouldn't go to bed alone without.

Kaidan feels himself shake and flutter with that sudden emotion, and he wills himself not to be too loud, not too quiet, and instead falls victim to his confident moans and gasps when Shepard thrusts his hips up occasionally against the gentle roll.

One more thrust later and Shepard has Kaidan on his back, hands planted on each side of Kaidan's head with thrusts that leave Kaidan nearly choking on air. It's an intense feeling that rises inside of Kaidan, pooling at the base of his stomach, because when what the last time he had a real fuck? A real... love-making..?

It had seemed so long ago, and he savored every breath Shepard feathered across his neck.

A hand wraps itself around Kaidan's cock and he comes undone, arching and gripping the sheets, finding Shepard's hands that roam his body, his hips, his stomach, threading their fingers together and planting them next to his head again, and Shepard finds that it frames such a lusty face well. He could get used to seeing it.

Kaidan's moans grow higher, just a little pitch tighter as he feels he's coming to an end, and Shepard's soft growling he feels against his neck, nipping at his ear, drives him to the edge.

Shepard bites down against his shoulder and that's all it takes for him to arch up violently, coming with a harsh keen against the hand that covers his mouth now. His head lolls to the side as his orgasm rolls out, as Shepard still milks him with more thrusts, and he's a whimpering little mess when Shepard finally finishes, a heat blooming inside of him that's sticky once Shepard pulls out.

It's another feeling he'd gotten un-used to.

But the one feeling he yearned for all this time was a pair of arms that wrapped around him tight, the breath that was warm and humming in satisfaction, true satedness, against the back of his neck.

"Jesus Christ," Kaidan sighs, still feeling a slight tingle of the aftershocks.

"No, just John Shepard," he feels mumbles against his shoulder, and Kaidan can't kept but smile and reach back to press his hand against the back of Shepard's head to kiss him once he turns his head.

Shepard kisses back and chases after Kaidan's mouth once Kaidan's turned over to face him, and Kaidan nips at his lip with smiling eyes and a sex flush still fading from his cheeks and shoulders.

Shepard feels whole, Kaidan feels like he could float here in Shepard's arms forever.

Their silence of staring deep into each other's eyes is short-lived once Shepard speaks up, tone quiet and a little playful.

"Round two..?" Shepard hums and Kaidan laughs haughtily, rolling over for Shepard to accommodate straddling him once more, smiling down at his dark muse's face tha smiles back up with a wink.

Shepard could get used to this.

Kaidan could say the same.

**Author's Note:**

> add more parts to the series? end it here?? not sure.  
> what do you think?


End file.
